To the mom who passes up the play date invitation…

Please know you are doing okay and what you are doing is enough.

I am saying this to myself.

My Ideal Play Date:

This is my take on play dates.  I love the idea.  My ideal play date is happening at about 9am and at someones house.  The kids are in a different room playing nicely and you know, SHARING.  The other mom and I are enjoying a cup of coffee and are having a real meaningful conversation that I often crave.

Reality:

We both become referees.  We have to say no, please share, give so and so a chance etc.  I worry about spilling my coffee as my son comes up for a big hug.  I can’t be as open as I want because I can’t share about my struggles in front of my kids. Sometimes it is just hard getting there on time or if the play date is at my house, that means I  have to clean, which may not happen.

When I first started going on play dates, I tried to make sure that I had a lot planned, got out of the house and I wanted my kids to socialize. 

What happened? 

Often they would take a longer nap or no nap, get sick or I would just be to overwhelmed.  I set expectations that could not be met by myself, my kids or the play dates. It was just exhausting.

I struggle with getting out of the house on time, I struggle when my kids are not “behaving”, I struggle with being judged on my parenting and so much more. So I learned that it was okay to just pass on the play date.

My solution:

I have learned for me I like to keep the kids busy with activities, but they do not always need to be formal play dates.  Want to meet me at the park? Great.  I will meet you there and probably only give you about a 30 minute warning I am going.  That is just how I am.  Parenting has really taught me to take it one day at a time.

What are your thoughts on play dates? Do you need them, kids need them or would you just rather pass? 

Be Happy,
Jessica Lynn