How I Became Okay With Passing Up the Play Date

To the mom who passes up the play date invitation…

Please know you are doing okay and what you are doing is enough.

I am saying this to myself.

My Ideal Play Date:

This is my take on play dates.  I love the idea.  My ideal play date is happening at about 9am and at someones house.  The kids are in a different room playing nicely and you know, SHARING.  The other mom and I are enjoying a cup of coffee and are having a real meaningful conversation that I often crave.


We both become referees.  We have to say no, please share, give so and so a chance etc.  I worry about spilling my coffee as my son comes up for a big hug.  I can’t be as open as I want because I can’t share about my struggles in front of my kids. Sometimes it is just hard getting there on time or if the play date is at my house, that means I  have to clean, which may not happen.

When I first started going on play dates, I tried to make sure that I had a lot planned, got out of the house and I wanted my kids to socialize. 

What happened? 

Often they would take a longer nap or no nap, get sick or I would just be to overwhelmed.  I set expectations that could not be met by myself, my kids or the play dates. It was just exhausting.

I struggle with getting out of the house on time, I struggle when my kids are not “behaving”, I struggle with being judged on my parenting and so much more. So I learned that it was okay to just pass on the play date.

My solution:

I have learned for me I like to keep the kids busy with activities, but they do not always need to be formal play dates.  Want to meet me at the park? Great.  I will meet you there and probably only give you about a 30 minute warning I am going.  That is just how I am.  Parenting has really taught me to take it one day at a time.

What are your thoughts on play dates? Do you need them, kids need them or would you just rather pass? 

Be Happy,
Jessica Lynn


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