It has been awhile since I have written a blog post, mostly because I am making big changes.  Big life changes.  Changes needed to happen because I was working too much, for me anyways.  When I had my first child, I went back to work full-time.  About a month later I went down to part-time.  I couldn’t do it.  I was struggling in my new role as mom and working was just too much for me.  I created a good balance for many years working part-time.  At the end of my mommy happiness challenge last year, I shared that I decided to open my own practice (I am a mental health therapist).  Over the past year, I have been working hard to open and run this practice, all while still trying to focus on my family and not lose to much time with them.  I would love to be able to say that I am leaving my current job because my practice is full and things are great.  That is not the case, but I am on my way I would like to think.  The reality is that my kids will be in school every morning come the fall, and I work nights between my practice and my current job.  As a family, we made a decision that something would need to change, as I could not continue to work nights and sacrifice almost 2 or more whole days without seeing my kids.  That would not work for my family.  So, we made a decision that I would leave my job.  Although it is hard to leave a place that I love and a consistent paycheck, I have a sense of peace.  I know I am doing what is right for myself and my family.  I am the happiest I have been in a long time.  I know that I call this blog the mommy happiness project, but it is really about looking for the joy and finding happiness in everyday moments, despite the chaos of motherhood.  It is not always about happiness.  Parts of motherhood are difficult.  Frankly, being an adult is really hard.  Making a decision to not have a consistent paycheck is SCARY.  But what matters more to me?  First is my sanity and then being a present and calm mother to my kids.  If I am stressed all the time, I can’t do that.  No one can.  So in a time in my life that I should actually be stressed and scared, I am not.  This reinforces that I am making the best decision.  I know I have work to do around building my practice and spending less money (no more Target trips), but I am okay with that.  I really have no idea what will happen in the future, but I am okay with that too.  Why am I sharing this with you?  Mostly to provide a sense of hope.  Things can get better.  If I never took the time for self-care, I would not be here.  I often share with clients that when we are stressed, we get stuck in tunnel vision.  We only see one way out.  But when we de-stress and remain calm, we can see things differently, are more open to possibilities and willing to try something new.  I think that is where I am at.  I see the possibility of having a different life than I have ever imaged before.  This life is about the journey and I am ready for the ride.  

For the rest of the summer, you will most likely find me at the beach!  If I am not there, I will be in my backyard with my boys or hiking.  And since I won’t be working as much, I will hopefully be writing more.  So stay tuned for your own self-care encouragement moms. You need it and are worth it.  

Oh, and I should give a special shout out to my husband.  He is my biggest supporter.  Best of all, he believes in me.  I couldn’t ask for any better!

I know I am not the only mom out there who has decided to stay at home despite fear.  I know I am not the only mom who is trying to build and run their own business.  All you amazing mamas out there, what do you do to help yourself?  What special tricks do you have?  At the end of the day, this is what I know.  Us moms, we are all alike.  We just want the best for our kids and our family’s.  We do the best we can.  

Choose Happiness,

Jessica Lynn